Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Dull Moments Do Not Exist

We all know the saying "never a dull moment".  That could not be more true for me, thanks to my dear children.  And dogs.  And just life in general.

(Warning:  the following snippets will contain the word poop more than once.  So, if that is too much for you to handle, stop reading now.)

Yesterday was going to be a chill kind of day.  With no definite plans, we were going to just hang out and do whatever pleased us.  However, by around 11:00, I thought we should get out for some fresh air.  Perhaps it would be hot and humid air, but we'd be out of the house.  Actually, it wasn't miserably hot yet, so I suggested to Sadie that we go to the park and maybe even take a picnic.  Or we could go pick up food and take it to the park to eat.  I figured I'd be killing two birds - wear them out before nap time and not mess up the kitchen with lunch.

Did Sadie agree to my plan?  No.  OK, Sadie, what would you like to do then?  Her response - go to the backyard and pick up dog poop.  What?  I just laughed and went on to the next thing.  She then comes to me with two plastic grocery bags and said "come on!"  To the back yard we went.  She didn't really pick up any dog poop, but she sure pretended to.  After our poop patrol was over with and the kids had played, we went inside and scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed our hands.

On to lunch and naps, no problem.

After naps, it was time for Sadie's first gymnastics class!  She was excited, I was excited, and Harrison was excited too!  At least he seemed to be.  This is my first experience with this sort of extracurricular activity.  I mean, she's had swim lessons at our neighborhood rec center, but it was very laid back.  Uhm, not this gymnastics place.  Oh my!  People everywhere!  Moms, dads, nannies, siblings - aaahhhh!!!  Sadie did a great job and went right in without looking back.  I had so much fun watching her, but not so much fun keeping Harrison contained and happy for an hour.

By the time we left, I was exhausted.  Not to mention developing a migraine.  I sort of felt it coming on earlier in the day, but it was really hitting me by the time we left.  Shame on me for ever leaving the house without my Rx.  In the car Sadie said that her tummy was so hungry for Chicken Away.  I love my child.  Who am I to argue with her, especially since daddy is out of town?  So to CFA we went.  Things were going well until we were almost finished.....

I knew this day was coming.  Sadie informs me in a voice loud enough for all around me to hear - mom, I gotta go poop!  Sadie, ssshhhh!!  I assumed she was just ready to get up from the table.  Wrong.  She told me to get Harrison and let's go!  She was at the bathroom door before I had Harrison out of the high chair.  And once I finally got to the bathroom door, she was in a stall with her pants down.  Oh dear, she's serious.  I have real issues with public restrooms, so this was sort of like a nightmare for me. She is taking care of her business while I'm chasing Harrison in the handicap sized stall, trying to keep him from touching everything.  I'm embarrassed to say we were in there a while.

Remember that migraine that I'd felt coming on earlier?  Yeah, it was really making itself known by this time.

No way we were finishing our meal after spending so much time in that public restroom stall.  And of course Harrison pooped while we were in there.  Did I take a diaper inside with me?  Nope.  And of course it was family night with a clown making balloon animals and making faces.  Sadie really wanted her arm painted.  But you know what?  You can't get everything in life, right?  I had just spent more time than I'm comfortable with in the bathroom (so sorry, CFA), my boy has a dirty diaper, and my head is killing me!  Sorry, Sadie, I'll let you put on some of my makeup when we get home.

My plan was to run into the grocery store for milk after we ate.  How did we go through two gallons of milk since Friday?!  Instead, I put two stinky/germy kids into the car and did what any person in their right mind would do.  I got back into the CFA drive thru and ordered two milks.  And an ice cream cone.  If anything was going to help my head at this point, ice cream would.

How do I wrap this up without it being too abrupt?  I don't know.  But I was lying in bed with Sadie, it was quiet, she was calm, all that could be heard was the a/c.  She whispered - hey mom, what's that noise?  The air conditioner.  Nope, it's my stomach.  Like I said, dull moments do not exist.