Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Drama/Trauma, Tomato/Tomahto

A few months ago, I shared about my shopping experience with a personal shopper.  I knew the day was coming when I'd be going shopping again, this time for summer clothes.  Summer clothes means showing more skin - eek!  My plan was to get in shape and use self tanner before the shrinking hemlines came into season.  Well, that didn't happen, but the shopping must go on.

Last Thursday was the day.  I must admit that it was a success.  I had a good, everyday wardrobe in less than two hours.  I tried on who knows how many tops, pants, and shorts, and I didn't even shed a tear.  UNTIL......Kris had told me that I needed serious swimsuit help.  Thanks, Dear.  I know I need help, but what kind of torture are you trying to put me through, asking me to go shopping with a critic for a swimsuit?  We were wrapping things up, she was talking about how we'd had a successful day, and with every ounce of courage I had, I mumbled/whispered - uh, maybe, if you have time and don't mind, it's ok if you don't want to, really we don't have to, but....swimsuits?  She looked at me, smiled, and said - I'm on it!

Before the torture began, I gave her a list of my requirements.  As I was making a purchase, she was in the swimsuit department preparing for my complete embarrassment.  Little beads of perspiration began gathering on my nose, my upper lip was moist, did I remember to put on deodorant?  My heart was racing.  I couldn't breathe very well.  And what does she tell me?  Shut up, get over it, and put on this swimsuit!  Oh, and yes, she was in the dressing room with me.  Seriously, can you think of anything worse?  I can't.  This clip kind of sums up in a way how I felt.

I put on one and she said - nope.  Next one - that's kind of cute.  But it didn't cover enough for me (one of my requirements was either shorts or a skirt).  I began to put one on, and before I even had a chance to get it all the way on, she told me to take it off.  As she went out to look for more options, I sent Kris a text telling him how I was literally sweating profusely in the dressing room.  It was a dramatic AND a traumatic experience.  We finally settled on something.

So the day came this weekend when it was time to wear a swimsuit since I was taking Sadie to the pool.  Kris wasn't around, so I put on an "old faithful", complete with shorts to cover as much as possible.  It didn't take me long to find out that once that particular pair of shorts gets wet, they seem to stretch out and fall off.  It was not a pretty sight.  They clung to me as they sagged and dripped.  I tried to sit in an area where nobody could see me as I watched all the perfectly fit moms parading around in their cute suits.  I was embarrassed, ashamed, and ready to go home.  I wasn't there long before covering myself up with a towel and getting away from my own personal horror show.  I guess that means that it's time to be brave and put on one of those new suits.....and just make sure that I stay in water at least up to my waist at all times!


Elizabeth said...

Ha ha! You are SO BRAVE.

Sarah said...

I second Elizabeth! You couldn't PAY me to try on swimsuits right now - in front of someone or by myself!

Katie said...

I recently purchased a swim mini from Lands End. It goes half way down the thigh and has built in swim bottoms. No shorts this year for me. It's a real Mom swim suit :)