Pity Party

(This post came to mind this morning at 2:00 a.m., but I'm just now getting around to writing.  My attitude has improved, but the facts remain the same.)

I'm tired.  Not the "I didn't get a good night's sleep" kind of tired but the "I haven't had an uninterrupted night's sleep in almost ten months" kind of tired.  I knew that sleepless nights came with parenthood, but every single night?  Well, they're not completely sleepless, but waking up and getting out of bed every night sure does have a not-so-positive effect on some aspects of my life.  Sadie was doing well for a while, waking up only once.  I could go to her, feed her, and be back in bed within twenty minutes or so.  But not lately.  Waking up two and three times a night is for the birds.  Last night I was up with her from 12:30-2:30.  (granted, she wasn't feeling well, but still....)  As I paced the floor bouncing my wide-eyed darling, it hit me.  The tears.  I couldn't help it.  I hoped my crying wouldn't wake Kris up over the monitor, but then I remembered that he can sleep through anything.  ANYTHING.  How?  Anyway, I often find myself wondering why I can't get my own child to easily go to sleep.  It's very frustrating.  I feel like a bad mother sometimes.

Then I started thinking about this weekend and how it didn't turn out as planned.  For weeks I've been excited about going to my parents'.  I miss my family and couldn't wait to spend some time with them.  And an added bonus (which was the main reason I'd scheduled time to go home this weekend) was my nephews' birthday party.  My cute nephews get to celebrate together since their birthdays are so close.  I was anxious to see them and let Sadie play with her cousins.  I wanted Sadie to play in the bouncy house thing at the party.  However, we are in Houston, not East Texas.  Why did Sadie have to get sick?!

There are a couple of other things that were floating around in my mind that I was going to write about, but did I mention that I'm tired?  Yeah, I should be in bed now rather than sitting here writing.  So I'll wrap things up.

I had planned on inviting you all to my pity party, but thankfully that party didn't last very long.  I got out of the house (alone) earlier today, and my mom came to visit this evening!  It turned out to be a pretty good day!  So, my pity party has been canceled.  Should I decide to reschedule at a later date, I'll let you know.  I think it's good to have company at such parties.

Duh! Winning!

In my last post, it was obvious that Sadie wasn't feeling well.  When she woke up Wednesday night/Thursday morning, she was burning up with fever.  I had noticed a few bumps on her legs Wednesday but didn't think much about it.  She has such sensitive skin, I just assumed something had irritated it.  While trying to calm her down early Thursday morning, I felt more bumps on her.  What in the world?  In the light of day, I could get a good look at her....bites?  No.  ????  I called the doctor and made an appointment.  By the time we got to the doctor, her arms/hands and legs/feet were covered.  Please don't tell me it's "the pox"!  The doctor said that she WINS the prize for the WORST case of hand, foot, and mouth disease she's seen.  Great.  I know that my darling is a winner, but I don't want her winning such prizes.  Apparently she's taking her new title seriously and to the extreme, because it seems that more blisters are showing up by the hour.  My poor baby is miserable.  And so am I.

It's Gonna Be a Long Night

I'm not sure what's going on with my baby today.  I think it's teething.  bbboooo!!  It started off this morning with her following me everywhere, whining, putting her head on the floor.  Temp, 99.1.  Gave her some medicine, put her down for a very brief morning nap.  Wake her up, 100.9.  Took her to a play group for the first time (shame on me), and rather than socialize, she put her head on my shoulder and fell asleep.  She's NEVER done that.  Came home, temp 102+.  Forced her to eat, more meds, nap.  She slept for three hours.  Something else she rarely does.  This is the Sadie I get to experience 99% of the time:

However, this evening after making her eat dinner, she just sat quietly in her chair while I ate.  I thought she was just being a sweet girl and letting me eat in peace.  But then this kept happening:

I took her out of her chair but couldn't keep her awake.  Her temp is back up to 102+, and she was in bed before 7:00.  Uh oh.  It's gonna be a long night!

To Laugh or Scream?

Sadie and I spent some time outside earlier today.  It is just too beautiful to stay inside for long.  Since she refuses to nap today, we had to escape the house.  Anyway.....

Here she is roaming the backyard while looking cute (and funny) in her shades:

And here she is playing in her makeshift sandbox:

And finally, here she is rinsing off the sand that I apparently didn't rinse off well enough for her:

AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!  or  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  I think a little of both.

It's the Simple Things

I was on my way to the garage to put a box in the recycle pile when I thought - kids like boxes, Sadie is fussy, let's give this a try.  That's all it took.

What could be better?  Sesame Street, a rice cake snack, sitting in a box.  Life is good.

Pitiful Confessions

• My electric Swiffer Sweeper thing that I received as a wedding gift almost five years ago (wow!) has died.  I had to use a real broom (gasp!) this morning to sweep.  I didn't like it.
• I don't wash my hair every day.  And I don't think it looks as good on the days that I do!
• I could eat Chick-fil-A every day.  Kris knew what a bad night I had last night (thanks, Sadie) and how it stressed me, so before he left for work he told me to treat myself to Chick-fil-A today.  There is a good chance I'll take him up on that!
• Napping is one of my favorite things to do.  I told you....pitiful.
• The last book I read took me at least 2-3 months to complete.  I could have bought the book new for what my library late fee will probably be.  So why am I ready to start another one?  
• I have a couple more confessions in mind that are too pitiful to publicly confess.  Besides, who is really interested in these thoughts of mine anyway?

Just for Fun

Kris gave me a nice camera for Christmas.  I'd like to one day learn how to really use it.  Yesterday, just for fun, I took Sadie outside for a mini photo shoot.  I have a long way to go before getting anywhere close to good.  However, when my subject is as cute as Sadie, it's difficult to not take a good picture!  Here are a few.  (I know, the shadows on her face prove that I'm not a photographer.)

Glee: No Longer for Me

I will try to keep this brief....we'll see if I can do it.

I admit that I have been a fan of Glee since the first season.  The storyline was a bit silly and juvenile, but the music got me.  In fact, I have the soundtracks.  Yes, I do.

However....the last few episodes have left me sad.  Uncomfortable.  Disappointed.  They are glorifying totally immoral things, as long as you are "educated".  Underage drinking, premarital sex, homosexual relationships.  This is not ok.  Last night's episode went too far.  I can no longer support this show.

I Love It, But I Hate It

My original intent of this post was to focus on one particular love/hate relationship I have.  However, other things came to mind during the day yesterday which added to my thoughts on such strange relationships with things and situations.  So, here are a few examples:

• Food and cooking.  I love food.  I love spending time in the kitchen.  When it comes time to prepare a menu, though, I get really frustrated.  I've never been known to be a decisive person, so it's no surprise that I have a difficult time coming up with original things to cook.  I seem to be stuck in a rut cooking the same things over and over.  And these days I have to come up with things that I can prepare while a little girl clings to my legs wanting to play.  In fact, before coming to the computer to start writing this, I was standing in front of the refrigerator with the doors open....just staring.  As if whatever random ingredients I have in the fridge will magically come together to become a delicious dinner.
• My dogs.  I love my dogs.  I really do.  Unfortunately, one of my precious pups is a bit high maintenance.  He would love nothing more than to stay in the backyard barking at everything.  And I mean everything.  Oh my goodness - I'm not even joking when I say that as soon as I finished that last sentence, I had to run and find that "darling" dog to stop him from barking.  What was it this time?  But if he wakes up Sadie while she's napping, he is in big trouble.  Anyway....for the past few weeks there has been a rabbit that likes to tease him (and eat the broccoli plants from my garden!) on the other side of the fence.  It just sort of hops in little circles making Dwight go crazy....and me even crazier.  Then there is my old dog Shelli.  Sweet Shelli.  Why does she refuse to drink water unless she witnesses me filling her bowl?  Even if I filled the bowl with fresh water five minutes before she decided to drink, she will bark until she watches me empty the bowl and fill it up again.  If anything were to happen to those dogs, though, I would be crushed.
• Our living room.  I love my house.  Don't get me wrong - I feel extremely blessed to have a house and live where we do.  It's just that our living area seems to get smaller and smaller each day.  Sadie has a limited area, a small little "path", to play in.  When she drags out her toys, her space becomes even smaller.  How many times a day am I putting toys in her basket, only to turn around and have to do it again?  I wish she had a big open space to play in.  It won't be long before I can put up a gate or close her door and let her play in her bedroom upstairs.  With the video monitor, that is.
• www.zulily.com  That website.  I love it.  I anxiously await the daily email updates.  But I hate that I torture myself by looking at all of the super cute clothes for Sadie at such great bargain prices and know that I shouldn't make any purchases.  Just this morning I was drooling over a few outfits and kicking myself at the same time for even opening the email.  I should have known I would love something but not be able to justify buying.  

There are other things that I love and hate at the same time.....like exercising.  Summertime.  Talking on the phone.  Technology.  The list goes on.  But I won't go into those things because I need to go back into the kitchen and decide what to cook for dinner.  Wish me luck.