(This post came to mind this morning at 2:00 a.m., but I'm just now getting around to writing. My attitude has improved, but the facts remain the same.)
I'm tired. Not the "I didn't get a good night's sleep" kind of tired but the "I haven't had an uninterrupted night's sleep in almost ten months" kind of tired. I knew that sleepless nights came with parenthood, but every single night? Well, they're not completely sleepless, but waking up and getting out of bed every night sure does have a not-so-positive effect on some aspects of my life. Sadie was doing well for a while, waking up only once. I could go to her, feed her, and be back in bed within twenty minutes or so. But not lately. Waking up two and three times a night is for the birds. Last night I was up with her from 12:30-2:30. (granted, she wasn't feeling well, but still....) As I paced the floor bouncing my wide-eyed darling, it hit me. The tears. I couldn't help it. I hoped my crying wouldn't wake Kris up over the monitor, but then I remembered that he can sleep through anything. ANYTHING. How? Anyway, I often find myself wondering why I can't get my own child to easily go to sleep. It's very frustrating. I feel like a bad mother sometimes.
Then I started thinking about this weekend and how it didn't turn out as planned. For weeks I've been excited about going to my parents'. I miss my family and couldn't wait to spend some time with them. And an added bonus (which was the main reason I'd scheduled time to go home this weekend) was my nephews' birthday party. My cute nephews get to celebrate together since their birthdays are so close. I was anxious to see them and let Sadie play with her cousins. I wanted Sadie to play in the bouncy house thing at the party. However, we are in Houston, not East Texas. Why did Sadie have to get sick?!
There are a couple of other things that were floating around in my mind that I was going to write about, but did I mention that I'm tired? Yeah, I should be in bed now rather than sitting here writing. So I'll wrap things up.
I had planned on inviting you all to my pity party, but thankfully that party didn't last very long. I got out of the house (alone) earlier today, and my mom came to visit this evening! It turned out to be a pretty good day! So, my pity party has been canceled. Should I decide to reschedule at a later date, I'll let you know. I think it's good to have company at such parties.