Disappointment Is....

buying a big, delicious-looking chocolate chip cookie, only to break off a piece and realize those are raisins, NOT chocolate chips.  And I do NOT like raisins.

Not Sure How I Feel About It.....

Have you ever seen that weird movie where Robin Williams plays the creepy photo developer?

OK, so I get my pics developed at CVS.  It's very convenient.  I upload my pictures from my computer, choose the quantity and sizes I want, and within an hour I can pick them up.  I can even pay online if I want to.  Easy.

I found myself at CVS several times towards the end of 2010.  It's not like I was there every day, but I'd say once or twice a month.  I remember going in one day, and the photo "tech" didn't even ask me my name, she just went and got my pictures and handed them to me.  One day, she greeted me and was like....Westbrook, correct?  Yes.  Then around Christmas, I went in and she said, "Oh, your photo books turned out so cute!"

Today I went in to pick up pictures.  Probably the first time since Christmas.  The lady saw me (I need to learn her name), she smiled and showed me a bag that she was holding.  It was very random.  She said, "I've been craving these for the longest time, and now we got them in!  I think we've been out for at least five months!"  A bag of jordan almonds.  Whatever.  She put them behind the counter, told me she needed to buy that bag for herself, went and got my pictures, handed them to me and said, "she's getting so big!"  She was referring to Sadie.

Should this give me the creeps?  Probably, but it doesn't.  She is a very sweet lady and it all seems innocent enough.  It's just sort of an odd feeling knowing that she is "there" with my family through all of the moments that are worth developing on paper.

So be warned:  If you have pictures that could cause embarrassment or shame, just be safe and don't get them developed.  You never know who's looking at them.  (Better yet, just don't take any shameful pictures at all!)

Easter Emotions

We began our Easter celebrations Saturday morning by going to Kris's parents' house for an Easter breakfast.  I didn't know what was going to be waiting for Sadie when we pulled into the driveway.

Maybe next year it won't be necessary to have such large eggs for her to find!

This morning before even opening my eyes, I had such JOY!  He is risen, He is risen indeed!  How humbling to know what He went through for me.  Thank you, Jesus!

Although I was feeling such happiness when I woke up, a bit of sadness hit me too.  I wish I could have been with my family.  I know that the meaning of Easter isn't about bunnies and egg hunts and candy and a big lunch, but those things are still fun.  I told Kris that I really want Sadie to hunt Easter eggs with her cousins next year.  I have such great memories of holidays spent with family and cousins....I want Sadie to have the same.

Time to get the day started!  Sadie got to see what the Easter bunny brought her.  Fun times!  I love being a mommy and getting to watch my baby experience new things.

The Easter bunny didn't go overboard - he knew that Sadie didn't need anything.    She got a new book, pajamas, some Easter egg "maracas", and a little duck that quacks.

Seriously?  You want me to wear these things?

After getting ready for church, it was time for pictures.  We went into the backyard, and Kris went to put Sadie down.  Her feet had just touched the ground when he realized that she had put her foot in...something.  I don't know what it was, I don't want to know what it was.  Of course it got her brand new socks that I ran all over the mall looking for yesterday and ended up paying too much for because they were the only pair I could find completely dirty.  aaaahhhhh!!!  So it was picture time without socks.  After our photo shoot, I had to come in, hand wash the sock, and dry it with a hair dryer.

She was so serious in almost all of the pictures, so I had to share at least one of her smiling - more of an "action shot".

Momma and Sadie.  Yes, I know, I need a tan.  And lipstick.

When we got to church, we had to park much farther away than usual.  I don't think 'sad' is the right emotion to describe how this made me feel.  Confusion?  Just the the lack of understanding?  I'm sure there were many visitors who were in town to be with family, but I know that there were also many people there who never go to church.  It's great that they came; however, do they really think that that is all they need?  To come to church once a year?  They are missing out on so much!  Then there were those people we passed who were out walking for exercise.  It broke my heart a little that even on Easter Sunday, RESURRECTION Sunday, they were not in church.  I need to spend time this week praying for those people.

Worship was nice.  Lots of music (although I was disappointed that the congregation didn't get to sing much - so Kris and I have made up for the lack of singing in church by just singing around the house.  I love the fact that I have a husband who can join me in singing hymns.), the handbell choir, a good sermon.  How could it not be good, though, when you get to hear a message about our resurrected Lord?  

We picked up Sadie from the nursery.  She was the only one there when the service was over.  Most of her other nursery friends have parents who go to the contemporary service, so she is often the last one to be picked up.  That's ok, though, because she gets to spend extra one-on-one time with her teachers.  It made my heart happy when we saw her asleep in her teacher's arms....they were just rocking together.  How sweet.

I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take one more picture of Sadie in front of some pretty flowers in the sanctuary.  I very much wanted a family Easter picture, but Kris and I are below the average age of those who attend the traditional service.  The people who were still in the sanctuary were in there because it was taking them a while to get wheeled out in their wheelchairs, or they were slowly making their way up the aisles with their walkers.  I didn't think they would know how to operate my camera, so we didn't get that family picture I wanted.  Oh well.  Next year.

She was fascinated with the stained glass windows.

And then it was back home.  No giant Easter lunch, no dyed Easter eggs, no extended family.  Sniff sniff.  But I was back home with a great husband, a precious daughter, and the excitement of knowing that my Savior LIVES!!!

  

No Rhyme, No Reason

• 90 (gasp!) dollars (shriek!) for a tank of gas? (faint!)
• The smell of wet syrup and ketchup makes me gag (like when you're rinsing off dishes with syrup or ketchup....gross).  Oh, and so does the smell of bananas.  And eggs.
• I am convinced that the Nordstrom dressing room mirrors add 15 pounds and loads of cellulite.
• It's only April 21.  It's hot.
• Do people with Baby on Board signs in their car really think it's going to help prevent them from being in an accident?

I Shouldn't Be Laughing, Part 2

Picking my lettuce.....shouldn't be laughing.

Destroying my curtains....shouldn't be laughing.

Look, Mom, No Hands!

Uh oh....I thought my life had changed drastically enough when Sadie started crawling, but what awaits me when she starts walking?  I'm afraid that will be very soon!

She was so proud of herself for standing that I couldn't fuss at her too much for picking my lettuce!

Every time she would stand on her own, she would clap.

It looks like she's about to lose her balance in this one....

Time to strap things down and lock all the doors!

Happy Day

• I have great friends.
• There is a bird sitting in a nest in a tree in our flower bed....Sadie and I just stood for a while watching it.
• I love the Easter season...the meaning of Easter, the colors, the weather, Peeps.....
• Sadie put herself to sleep for a nap without one little whimper!
• I was being fairly productive until I sat down to write this.
• My family is the best, but I miss them.
• aaaahhhh!!!  I just spotted my watch that I've been looking for for a couple of weeks.  It's been here on my desk all along.  Very happy about that.
• Since my watch has been right here under my nose this whole time, I should be cleaning my desk.  Not happy.  Oh well.  Too many other good things going on today - I'll get over the fact that I need to clean.
• Hope YOU are having a happy day too!

I Shouldn't Be Laughing

My original intent for this blog was not to focus solely on Sadie.  However, I'm finding that since my days and nights are consumed by her, it's difficult to come up with things to write about that don't revolve around her.  Anyway.....


I'm constantly finding myself saying, "Sadie, no!"  Yet I am laughing on the inside.  It's hard to give a firm command with a giant smile on my face.  Here are a few examples:

We went berry picking yesterday with some friends.  Sadie enjoyed it.  A little too much.  She would squeal as she stuck her fingers into the strawberries.  It was a huge mess.  I probably should have paid the farm a few extra dollars to cover the cost of all the strawberries she ruined.  I laughed.

I had these foam letters in some Easter baskets just for fun.....then I found them in odd places with little teeth marks.  I really shouldn't be laughing at this since she could have choked on foam pieces.  But how cute are those little imprints?  I don't think I'll be able to throw them away.

And this is wrong for several reasons.....1. She is standing WAY too close to the tv, but she loves her some Chica on Sprout!  2.  Just the fact that she is so crazy about tv.  3.  She doesn't have any clothes on.  It seems as though in all of my baby pictures, all I am wearing is a diaper.  I've always given my mom a really hard time about never dressing me and told her I WOULD keep clothes on my child.  Well, I do about 99% of the time.  We were getting ready to go somewhere and I didn't want to put clean clothes on her until the last minute.  I know, just an excuse.  Whatever.  I was laughing at her as I took this picture when I should have been saying - Sadie, NO!





Oh, and then there was the fingernail polish incident yesterday....yeah, she broke a bottle on the bathroom floor.  But this time, as I was on my hands and knees cleaning the bathroom tile, I was NOT laughing.  Well, maybe just a little.

Praise the Lord!

I'm giving Him all the credit and thanking those of you who might have prayed.  Sadie had a great night last night (once she finally went to sleep).  For only the fourth time in her ten months of life, she slept through the night.  I was shocked when I woke up at 5:30 and saw the clock.  Is she ok?  She was perfectly fine and slept until 6:40.  It's amazing how good I felt when I got out of bed this morning.

Tonight has been a good one too!  I put her in bed with a bottle, she drank it, put her head down and went to sleep.  THANK YOU, JESUS!

And on a totally different note.....

This little girl had fun while helping me shop for outdoor cushions today.  It was like her own padded playpen inside the buggy:

But that same little girl did NOT like the Easter bunny (I can't say that I blame her):

Are You There, God? It's Me, Traci.

Before you start jumping to conclusions about my faith, please know that I'm 100% confident in God's existence and the fact that He hears me.  I'm just making a silly literary reference.

I know that I have addressed this issue multiple times, but it is heavy on my heart.  My child is ten months old.  My child will not sleep through the night.  It is really wearing on me.  I scream a little on the inside when I hear parents talking about how their child sleeps through the night at eight weeks old, sleeps 10-12 hours a night, etc.  Oh, you lucky lucky dogs!  It's not like it makes me mad or jealous, I just think that it would be really nice if Sadie did the same.

Each night while putting Sadie in bed, I lay hands on her and pray aloud.  I pray all the usual things that a mommy prays for her child, but I specifically emphasize a good night's sleep.  I pray that she is calm, that she will rest well, that if her tummy hurts He will ease the pain, if her teeth are bothering her He will take that pain away, and on and on - anything I can think of that might be waking her up in the night.  Please, Lord, may we ALL have a good night's sleep.

Last night I had just dozed off when she started crying.  It was way too early in the night for her to be awake, so I knew I should let her cry.  And cry.  And scream.  After about thirty minutes I gave in and went to her.  I calmed her down, she was dozing, and before I got to the bottom of the stairs the screaming began again.  I let her go for at least another twenty minutes before taking her a small bottle.  She drained it in no time at all and started crying again.  This time, though, she didn't cry as long and finally went to sleep.  When she has these "fits", I just lie in bed with tears in my eyes while watching the monitor.  I wasn't surprised when I heard her again at 3:00.  I couldn't stand to be awake for another hour, so I went to her pretty much immediately.  I fed her and actually fell asleep while holding her.  When I put her in bed at 4:30, she stayed asleep.  But only until 6:00.  This time I made Kris get her.  (and yes, it did make me crazy this morning when Kris said, "she only woke up twice, that's not too bad."  Uhm, twice?  Excuse me?  Where were you at 3:00?)

This morning she didn't nap in the nursery, so of course she was asleep in the car when we weren't even a block away from church.  Kris put her in bed as soon as we got home.  It was a race for me to eat a bite of lunch and get on the couch so I could try to take a nap.  ha ha ha ha!!  Right.  As soon as I stretched out, she woke up.  Not much of a nap.

On to this evening....she was obviously tired, it was bedtime, we went through the same nightly ritual.  Her nighttime routine is often not too bad.  However, tonight was torture.  Another 45 minutes of screaming.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY CHILD?!  

I'm at a loss.  What am I doing wrong?  Does God not think I need to sleep more than three hours at a time?  I'm tired.  I'm emotional.  I don't know what to do.  Well, I do know what to do.  I will continue to pray.  And pray some more.  And ask you, my friends, to join me in prayer.  Please.  Before I completely lose it!!!

Busy Baby

Before beginning this post, let me first begin by apologizing.  You are about to read (if you make it to the end) details of Sadie's busy day.  I completely understand that you might not have any interest.  So why do I plan on continuing to write?  I don't know.  Anyway, I'm sorry.  But here goes.....

We began our day at the train in Hermann Park for a birthday party.  What a fun idea!  We were excited about riding the train and celebrating a friend's second birthday.  However, some little girl got sleepy about halfway through the ride and fell asleep in daddy's arms.  Yes, she slept through most of the party.  Here she is before her morning nap:

Since the birthday party was so early in the day, we had time to do lots more!  We ran a few errands, visited with the grandparents, Sadie napped, then it was off to the pool for our first swim of the season!  I was filled with both excitement and dread.  Excitement about watching Sadie "swim", but dreading the fact that it would require me putting on a swimsuit.  Gross.  Scary.  Embarrassing.  But, I got over it for the sake of my child.  We reminisced about the first time Sadie went to the pool.  That was then:

And this is now:

She was a bit chilled and kept making some of the funniest faces!

Splashing is so much fun!

Once we got home, it was time to work in the flower beds.  Unfortunately, we lost many of our colorful flowers in the freeze (shame on us for not taking the weathermen seriously and covering our plants!), so it was time to replace them.  Sadie played/ate in the grass/dirt/sand/flower pots while we worked.

It should be no surprise that it didn't take much effort to get her to sleep this evening - thank goodness!  I pray she sleeps ALL night.  Wouldn't that be a treat for me?!  But even if she doesn't sleep all night, I'll get over it, because I just can't get too upset with this:

Exercise Much?

As a matter of fact, yes.  Yes, I do.

OK, so my workouts aren't necessarily your traditional "go to the gym and run on the treadmill before lifting weights" sort of workout.  This morning I had to change Sadie's crib sheet.  Seriously, why do they make them SO tight?  It took forever to get the dirty one off.  I wrestled with the new one for so long that I ended up taking the whole mattress out of the crib, and even then it was a battle with the sheet.  By the time I'd finally gotten the sheet on and the mattress put back in bed, I had a broken nail, was sweating, was short of breath, and I think I pulled a muscle.  I then started thinking that I'm all over the house most of the day chasing a very fast-moving baby, and I'm squatting and bending over to lift seventeen pounds many times a day.  Some days it feels like a hundred times!  What exercise routine commonly includes one hundred squats while lifting seventeen wiggling pounds?

So when I ate chips with my Weight Watchers meal for lunch, I didn't feel guilty.  Because yes, yes I have exercised today!

"Home" Senses

I am "home" tonight.  I still refer to my parents' house as home, even though I never lived here.  Well, maybe I did for a few months after college graduation.  Anyway....

Home is still in Texas, but it can at times seem like a world apart.  When I got in bed last night, I started contrasting the sights and sounds here to that of Houston.  It was so dark in my room.  No street lights, no lights coming from the neighbor's house, no light at all.  I live in a fairly quiet neighborhood, especially at night, but there is still the occasional car that passes by.  Oh, and the train.  Here, I was listening to the sound of a donkey breying.  It made me laugh to myself.  I didn't hear it last night, but it is very common to hear a pack of coyotes at night and the dogs barking in response.  Right now I'm listening to some sort of insect...locusts, I think.  Crickets?  Those flying beetle things that want to get inside towards the light.



Today I enjoyed listening to three little cousins having a great time playing.  It was noisy, but it was fun.  Most of the time.  The giggles, the squeals, the cartoons, the musical toys, the door opening and shutting as they went in and out...OK, so it was overwhelming, but I think it's important for Sadie to experience it.


Here she is helping her cousins make mud pies.  Not something she gets to do every day in Houston!


I can't say that it's appealing, but I always know I'm home when I smell the chicken houses.  Thankfully I didn't smell them today, but all it would take is the wind changing to the right direction.  I enjoyed lots of fresh air today.

Sadie got so excited when she saw all the animals....cows, horses, donkeys, mules, dogs, goats, it's a real zoo around here.  You can't just walk out your back door and see this in Houston:

Yeah, we're not in Houston anymore, Sadie.