Sunday, April 10, 2011

Are You There, God? It's Me, Traci.

Before you start jumping to conclusions about my faith, please know that I'm 100% confident in God's existence and the fact that He hears me.  I'm just making a silly literary reference.

I know that I have addressed this issue multiple times, but it is heavy on my heart.  My child is ten months old.  My child will not sleep through the night.  It is really wearing on me.  I scream a little on the inside when I hear parents talking about how their child sleeps through the night at eight weeks old, sleeps 10-12 hours a night, etc.  Oh, you lucky lucky dogs!  It's not like it makes me mad or jealous, I just think that it would be really nice if Sadie did the same.

Each night while putting Sadie in bed, I lay hands on her and pray aloud.  I pray all the usual things that a mommy prays for her child, but I specifically emphasize a good night's sleep.  I pray that she is calm, that she will rest well, that if her tummy hurts He will ease the pain, if her teeth are bothering her He will take that pain away, and on and on - anything I can think of that might be waking her up in the night.  Please, Lord, may we ALL have a good night's sleep.

Last night I had just dozed off when she started crying.  It was way too early in the night for her to be awake, so I knew I should let her cry.  And cry.  And scream.  After about thirty minutes I gave in and went to her.  I calmed her down, she was dozing, and before I got to the bottom of the stairs the screaming began again.  I let her go for at least another twenty minutes before taking her a small bottle.  She drained it in no time at all and started crying again.  This time, though, she didn't cry as long and finally went to sleep.  When she has these "fits", I just lie in bed with tears in my eyes while watching the monitor.  I wasn't surprised when I heard her again at 3:00.  I couldn't stand to be awake for another hour, so I went to her pretty much immediately.  I fed her and actually fell asleep while holding her.  When I put her in bed at 4:30, she stayed asleep.  But only until 6:00.  This time I made Kris get her.  (and yes, it did make me crazy this morning when Kris said, "she only woke up twice, that's not too bad."  Uhm, twice?  Excuse me?  Where were you at 3:00?)

This morning she didn't nap in the nursery, so of course she was asleep in the car when we weren't even a block away from church.  Kris put her in bed as soon as we got home.  It was a race for me to eat a bite of lunch and get on the couch so I could try to take a nap.  ha ha ha ha!!  Right.  As soon as I stretched out, she woke up.  Not much of a nap.

On to this evening....she was obviously tired, it was bedtime, we went through the same nightly ritual.  Her nighttime routine is often not too bad.  However, tonight was torture.  Another 45 minutes of screaming.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY CHILD?!  

I'm at a loss.  What am I doing wrong?  Does God not think I need to sleep more than three hours at a time?  I'm tired.  I'm emotional.  I don't know what to do.  Well, I do know what to do.  I will continue to pray.  And pray some more.  And ask you, my friends, to join me in prayer.  Please.  Before I completely lose it!!!

6 comments:

Lisa said...

Been there, done that. Both boys didn't sleep through the night until their first birthday. I once had my pediatrician tell me that this is quite normal and "most" children she sees don't sleep that well until after age one. Whether this is true or not, it actually was true for my boys. It WILL happen for you too. Who knew that sleep was such a highly valued commodity as a parent, right? Praying for Sadie tonight...

Traci said...

Thanks, Lisa. I understand that "most" children don't sleep through the night until age one (my pediatrician told me it was normal, also), but waking up screaming for almost an hour and waking up more than once?! aaahhhh!!!!!

Erin said...

So so sorry about your sleep woes. It is hard because some babies are great sleepers and some not so much. Tessa was my not so much, Sophia is doing really well, she still wakes up to eat between 4-5 and then back down to 7, which I will take. I won't go into what worked for us with sleep, email me if you want, I know sleep and crying is very personal to each parent. I just wanted to say I am sorry you are tired, I understand, and it is HARD! Especially on month 10 (or 12, I mean, who sleeps at the end of being pg) of not having a full night's sleep. Thinking about you both!!

Elizabeth said...

I am so, so sorry. I wish I had some great words of wisdom, or comfort, but I don't. I can totally share in your frustration about Kris...WHY can men sleep right through that screaming? It just blows my mind.

christina said...

I read that after this post Sadie had a good night, but I will pray anyway that maybe she has hit her stride. It is comforting to hear that there are other moms out there having trouble with their little ones sleeping-I am there with you! Joshua hasn't been such a great sleeper. I will pray for you tonight and remember you when I am awake with my guy! Hang in there!

Traci said...

Thanks, Christina! And I'll go ahead and pray for you and Joshua right now because I'm going to go to bed fully confident that I won't be waking up until tomorrow morning. ha! However, should I have to get up in the night, I'll pray for you again then also. :)